On buying a house, settling in, and losing track of time


Has it really been nearly a month since I last posted in this dear ol’ blog? Oh, man. That was … unintentional. I did not intend to stop blogging here, but in reality, this May, I ceased much of my blogging activity as we worked to finalize the sale of our house, move, and settle into our new *first* home. It’s been … a process, and one that has seemingly consumed much of my attention.

Well, to be specific, the first week we were here, it was all about unpacking. Unpacking, unpacking, unpacking. I could not be STILL unless I was opening some other box, putting something away, organizing a pantry, or pestering J into finishing a few outstanding projects so that the rooms would actually, you know, look like rooms. Some things took a little longer (like putting my books on shelves), but that first week it was all go-go-go, don’t stop, all-stress, all-the-time. Clearly, I’m not the sort to live out of boxes, but happily I can say that the main house was all unpacked and generally put “away” by the end of that first week. Yay for out-of-control determination!

Last week, meanwhile, was about trying to slow down and actually enjoy the house, while simultaneously entertaining guests (well, my brother) and then planning for a long weekend trip to Cincinnati over Memorial Day (for my cousin’s wedding). Suffice it to say, in the down time I had, I was more concerned with settling into the rhythms of our new place, figuring out what will soon be our routines here, as well as getting overwhelmed with the idea of PROJECTS and EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE and MONEY TO PAY FOR THOSE PROJECTS. Also: let’s dwell on all the furniture and fun decorative items I want to buy … and stay on budget! Whee!

Now, I’m feeling a little more in the groove and am ready to start blogging about perhaps the most important thing that could happen to a blog with the word “home” in its name. We’ve only been here two weeks so far, but it’s starting to feel more and more like “home” everyday. In fact, coming back from Cincinnati this weekend was the first time we’ve officially “returned” here after a long trip, and I was surprised at how much I missed being here. Of course, I was also worried about how our cats were faring spending their first weekend home alone, but that’s just me being too emotionally attached to our cats.

There’s so many posts that I could – and will! – write about this house, but I think the best place to start is a reflection on what got us here in the first place: the house-buying process.

Finding the house

The entire month of April was a long string of frustration because while we were under contract for this house beginning March 31, we were both (rightfully) wary of saying anything until the official closing on April 30. That’s an entire month where, even though house-hunting was consuming every thought we had, we couldn’t. say. a. word. Oh, the agony. Our parents and close friends had their fill, I’m sure.

First, I can describe finding and snagging this house in one word: luck. Since we went under contract, it seems that I’ve read dozens of articles describing the bustling housing market this spring, with buyers seemingly coming out of the woodwork, ready to buy with cash on hand. It’s a sellers’ market, they say, and oh man were they right. We didn’t end up looking at many houses before finding “ours”, but I did look at one on a Wednesday – one day after it had gone on the market. I liked it, and told my real estate agent I wanted J to look at it the following evening. We set a time for 6 pm. By noon on Thursday, our agent had emailed us to say the house had already gone under contract.

I’ve been hearing similar stories not only in the Michigan county where we live, but also in surrounding cities. My best friend and her husband are looking for their first home in Columbus, OH – same budget, looking for the same general thing – and are running into one frustration after another.

Which is why finding this home – and then getting it under contract – was so lucky. So, so lucky. If I were religious, I’d say some greater power had a hand in this, but since I’m not, I refer to what my mom always says: everything happens for a reason. In an abbreviated fashion, here’s how it happened:

  •  In early/mid-December, J and I find the house on Zillow as a “Make Me Move” house. “Make Me Move”, for those not in the Zillow-know, means sellers can put their house on Zillow before it’s on sale to see what kind of interest there is. The price they give isn’t the list price, but a suggested price.
  • J and I FALL IN LOVE  with the house because: a) it’s everything we wanted with only a few compromises, b) it’s exactly where we wanted to live, and most importantly, c) it’s in our price range! Even better – it’s BELOW our max! Psyched, we email the seller via Zillow letting them know that heyyyy, we love your house and would love to see it when it’s up for sale. The Zillow listing says the house won’t be on the market until late January/early February anyway, but hey, that’s cool, because that’s when we were planning on starting our search anyway. FATE, I tell you.
  • A few weeks later, the seller actually emails us back (!) and says thanks for the interest, the house will be up for sale early next year, it will be for sale by owner, and hopefully you can take a look at it. Feeling smug, we wait and refer to the house during preliminary searches as the standard by which we compare every other house. In retrospect, we got our hopes up REALLY high about this house, so it’s a good thing it worked out.
  • February arrives, and the house still isn’t on the market, so we’re curious. We email the seller (again, it’s a good thing everything worked out because we could have totally freaked this lady out), and again, shocker, she responds.  She says, oh sorry, I know we said early February, but we’ve got issues of some sort, so it’ll probably be early March.
  • March arrives, still not on the market. We’re getting antsy. We’ve already talked to our real estate agents, set up MLS searches, and secured preliminary financing. We email AGAIN, and she responds AGAIN. Tells us: two weeks, promise. We’re doing some repairs, getting moved into our new house, you know how things go. But hey! We’ll give you guys first looksies, since you’ve been so patient. COMMENCE HAPPY DANCE.
  • Mid-March: HOUSE STILL NOT ON MARKET. Panic starting to set in. We’re looking at houses. I want to look more. J wants to hold out for the magic house. I say, “What if it never goes up for sale? What if the owner changes their mind? What if the final list price is more than our budget? What if, what if, what if????”
  • End of March: J says, please email her one more time. One more time, I say. I email ONE MORE TIME. She responds (!):  well, we were planning on doing a few more repairs in the next 10 days, but if you guys wanted to take a look BEFORE, we could set up a showing for this Friday? Now, mind you, remember: this house is not even on the market. We’ve just been creeping on this lady’s email for three months, throwing all our hopes into this basket and totally not even using our real estate agent. However upon receipt of this email, it’s as if the sun is coming out from behind a cloud and suddenly it feels like ALL OUR CRAZY HOPES MIGHT BE WORTH IT.
  • Also remember: we haven’t even seen the house. But we figure if the house is even a little bit like the pictures, we need to jump on it. Because oh yeah, she’s listing the house at the Make Me Move price, the one that got us all excited in December. However, knowing the local real estate market, we know that if we have a chance to get this house, we have to try our damnedest. Our real estate agent, knowing how we feel, tells us to play it cool at the showing.
  • We try to take his advice but omgosh, the house is perfect and I’m already planning furniture placement five minutes in. Luckily, the real estate agent remembers to be cool and asks some really good questions.
  • After we shake hands and head out to our cars, we tell our agent we want to make an offer. Tonight. We do, asking for the listing price. We leave his office sometime around 6 or 7 pm. By 9 or 10 pm that night, she had accepted.

Under contract

But the process didn’t end there; no, in fact, I’d have to say that the most stressful parts were still to come. If anything, getting our offer accepted almost seemed easy, if that makes any sense. Yes, we worked hard to establish a relationship with the seller, continually showed our interest, and acted fast in a hot market with (what I think is) a sensible offer, but everything happened so fast, it seemed like a blur the next day.

The next month, however, was definitely the pits. As much as I loved finding *our* home, I can comfortably say that I’m OK not buying another house for a long, long time. If there are any first-time home buyers out there, here’s a quick rundown of what to expect:

  • Immediately, you need to get that preliminary mortgage approval turned into an official approval. Then, a week or so later, head into your mortgage office and sign 10,000 papers that effectively detail how your life is going to be tied up in this loan until you’re old and gray (or 30 years, whichever comes first).
  • Suddenly, you need to turn into an expert on home-related professionals. You need to immediately find what will hopefully be the best home inspector in town, and hire him/her for the inspection within seven days of your offer being accepted. Those seven days are the only times you, as a buyer, can make amendments to the final contract – whether it’s the stipulations or price – and it all depends on what happens during this inspection period. If you’re lucky, you have friends who have bought houses relatively recently who can offer you a few names. If you’re luckier, your real estate agent rocks and gives you even more names.
  • During said home inspection, spend the entire time praying that he doesn’t find a nest of termites or major roof damage. Listen to all the terrible things about your house-to-be, and start seeing your carefree renters lifestyle disappearing.
  • Also during inspection time, think about bringing in any other professionals who may be able to tell you similarly heartbreaking things about your house. We had a drain inspection (good), and a mold inspection (not so good).
  • Act like you know what you’re doing and try to “re-negotiate” with the sellers at the end of the inspection period if it turns out you need some “concession costs”. We ended getting $900 in closing costs to pay for some mold remediation in the basement (grumble, grumble).
  • Then, you get to shell out the BIG bucks to pay for a home appraisal. This is where things start getting dicey. So, you’re already set on a sale price, including how much you’ll be paying down and how much you’ll be borrowing from your lender. Well, your lender will only lend you so much, based on what the house is WORTH. So, if you’re buying a $100,000 house, and you put $25,000 down, the bank can lend you the remaining $75,000 if you’ve been pre-approved for that amount. But if the house is only worth $85,000, then the bank will only lend you $60,000. If the seller won’t lower their asking price, you’re stuck ponying up the remaining $15,000 … or risk dropping the deal altogether. I know … STRESSFUL.
  • Meanwhile, you need to be shopping around for homeowners insurance. Our mortgage lender gave us a ballpark estimate of what a year’s worth of homeowner’s insurance should cost, and that’s really the only information I had to go on. In the end, we ended up NOT going with the company where we originally had car insurance. And this month, we ended switching even those policies to our new insurance company, which is all just the biggest headache.
  • Then, there’s closing, but more importantly, the WAITING BEFORE CLOSING. Ahhhh! So much impatience! Meanwhile, you’re supposed to be packing, because now that the appraisal is back, you know you’re getting the house FOR SURE, but man, packing sucks.

And that’s about it. Gosh, does it suck. Add in the hour I spent trying to figure out the math used to calculate our down payment (because I just have to know these things, and of course there were Excel spreadsheets involved), and it’s just one long, stressful headache.

Team awesome

But, in all reality, I can not lie: our house-buying process was relatively painless. Or, it was better than it could have been. Again, I think of luck. A small amount of mold was really the only issue raised during the inspection. The house appraised well. We were able to spend $25,000 less than our original budget limit, which turned out to be best for the bank account. We found pretty great insurance rates, even if we had to switch companies.

And, most importantly, at the end of the day, we bought a house we love, in a neighborhood we adore, and we can’t wait to build our life here. Now that it’s all over, I can definitely say that relaxing in my living room, listening to jazz while a candle burns, is definitely worth the trouble.

I attribute much of that pain-free experience to the amazing team we had working in our corner. As I get older, I realize that customer service plays such a huge role in determining where I do business, and the treatment J and I received during this process attests to that. Even though they were local, I found my real estate agent on Twitter – they (a husband and wife team) were “online acquaintances” that I formed during my time as a small town reporter, and I couldn’t be happier with the experience. Sure, we found the house ourselves, but we absolutely depended on our agent for guidance and direction. And keeping us sane. And responding to our crazy emails at 11 pm.

Even our mortgage lender was, believe it or not, awesome. They were recommended by our agents, so it’s no surprise. J actually contacted two other lenders before – one sent us a general “quote” via email, one said to call back when we were closer to buying. This company invited us to their office to talk with one of their principal mortgage experts, who then proceeded to explain the entire process of financing a house during a hour that was never billed, but graciously done via their good will. A few days after our meeting, we received a follow-up note from them, thanking us for considering them. That was it, we were sold. The women from that first meeting came to our closing (even though she really didn’t have to) and brought sparkling apple cider (it was at 9 am). We really couldn’t have been happier.

I’d even have to say working with the seller wasn’t as stressful as I thought it would be. At first, I was worried, but once we were under contract, our agent acted as the intermediary, which made communication very professional and easy. She was also at the closing, and while we signed 10,000 more papers, told us about all the neat bits about our new neighborhood.

But at the end of the day, I am sure glad it’s over. Oh, so, so, so glad. I will admit it’s hard for me to now commiserate with my similarly frustrated, home-buying friends since, like I’ve said, I feel that J and I have been so lucky during this process. However, I do believe in that mantra of my mom’s: things happen for a reason. Yes, looking for a house is hard (and apparently even more so in this market). But you will find *your* home, and it will work out, because at the end of the day, that’s where you were meant to live.

What we’ll miss about our first Michigan home

In two days, J and I will be officially moving into our first real *home* after renting for 5+ years since graduating college. Buying a house feels like a huge deal. Not only is there the whole “we’re getting older and wiser and fatter and more wrinkly” bit.  It’s not even the fact that after years of watching your bank account grow flush with savings, it’s all suddenly gone and you’re panicking about starvation and never again seeing the inside of a Starbucks.

No, a big part of it is leaving the world of renting behind. For us, that means leaving behind our home of the past four years, a 900-square-foot townhouse situated just north of a swanky Metro Detroit bedroom community, full of shops and restaurants way outside our price range, multi-million homes, beautiful parks and trails, and all the bragging rights among our friends and co-workers (“Oh, you live in joe-schmoe-surbub? Yeah, we live where the Detroit Lions live.”)

OK, we didn’t really brag all that much. Other people gave us funny looks, but we always insisted that we happened upon our townhouse by chance. In 2010, J and I were sharing a one-bedroom apartment near the University of Cincinnati, where J was finishing his degree, and we needed to find an apartment in Detroit. J was going to start working at one of the major automakers up here the summer after graduation, and we needed to find a place by July. We scoured Craigslist and made several trips up I-75 (which takes, if you want to know, 4-5 hours one way) to look at apartments in communities we knew nothing about. We probably Googled “fun places to live in Metro Detroit” – not the best idea. We knew a little bit about the area where we eventually settled, but we assumed it was out of our price range and focused our search elsewhere.

We had some trouble; a few times, we found apartments we really liked, only to find that they had already been leased, or that sleeping on the decision was a bad idea because someone else already claimed it (word to the wise: never sleep on anything in real estate – just go with your damn gut). It was getting frustrating. Then, we saw this place on Craigslist and lined up a showing for our next trip up north, along with a few other places. There were some good choices during that trip, and I told J if ANY of them turned out half as nice as the pictures, we were signing a lease on the spot.

We saw two other places before this, the second better than the first. But we had a feeling about this place. And what do you know – we walked in, walked around, confirmed the rent, confirmed that no one had signed the lease yet, then told the agent dude to go back to his office and get the lease, we were signing. He was a little surprised and left us at the townhouse, where we actually had to ward off another agent and her client who wanted to look at the place, telling them that no, this was ours, go away, mine, WE CLAIM THIS.

Since then, this place has worked. The townhouse is owned by one woman, who is also our neighbor. She never raised our rent. The small second bedroom with huge windows facing south turned out to be a sunny and quiet office, perfect considering I worked from home for two and a half years. The bedroom is huge and actually fit my bedroom set. We bought all new living and dining room furniture, and raised our kitties here.

We also bumped elbows plenty of times in the tiny kitchen, and felt awkward trying to enjoy our back patio while also sharing the space with the five or so close neighbors. I’ve been accosted by all the little dogs in the complex who like to bark at me while I read outside, and spent days nervously listening to the little old lady living next door navigate her own two-story townhouse, hoping I didn’t hear a fall.

Our place is also located right off one of the busiest thoroughfares in Metro Detroit. This road is the center of a huge rolling car show/cruise every August. During the week leading up to the actual event, the road is choked with slow moving muscle cars, peeling out, hitting their throttles, vrooming all over the damn place…and showing off how loud and flashy they can be. Now, J loves cars and even he’s tired of living here in the summer.

And yet, there’s a lot to miss about this place:

bedroom window

The natural light I have doing my make-up and hair at my vanity in the morning.

office window

The amazing windows, and light, in our office.


The AMAZINGLY fragrant and beautiful lavender bush outside our kitchen window. I only wish I could see it bloom once more before we leave.

Then, there’s the things I won’t miss:


Living off of THIS road.

The claustrophobic kitchen.

The claustrophobic kitchen.

Also, maybe this is weird, but I’m actually very concerned about how our two cats will adapt to the move and like the new house. This has been their only home! What if they’re miserable and hate it, and by extension, hate ME!? Oh, the guilt! While I’m sure they’ll adore all the windows (with ledges!) our new place has, I will miss the banister right by our front door. For the past few years, whenever we come home, if our boy cat, Mr. Bennet, is upstairs, he immediately comes running as soon as he hears the door open. Then, he’ll stand on this banister, where he’s about face height, and give us a little head-bump in greeting. It’s absolutely the most adorable thing I’ve ever encountered, and I only hope that Mr. B will still greet us even without the banister.

mr b

How do you organize when you’re packing for a move?

…No, seriously, I want to know. How does anyone manage to stay organized when they’re packing for a big move? I thought I was prepared for this: I had a color-coding system all in place, I have browsed dozens of packing tips online, and simply put, I’m naturally OCD. This should have been (relatively) easy.

We’re moving in three days, and we’re coming along – OK – on the moving process. I say ‘OK’ because we’re doing just fine, and the big moving day shouldn’t be stressful. And yet, I feel like any kind of planning I may have done before this point has just flown out the window. Oh, there was a method for packing my pots and pans? Well, that box is already taped shut and I’m not reorganizing it. Tough luck! We have this fancy color coding system that corresponds to the different rooms in our new house, making moving stuff to the right room easy and fun! But then, how do you color code a box full of knick-knacks from around your house? This stuff used to be in the office, but that was because it had nowhere else to live in our townhouse, where should it go now? And I’m not going to lie: despite my best wishes, as we slowly move stuff over to the new place, we’re throwing a lot of it in our new spare bedroom since we won’t be using that room immediately upon moving in. Whoops!


And yet, I guess that’s life. A general loosening of any packing guidelines has allowed us to pack more quickly and efficiently, and in turn, we’ve been able to move a huge amount of STUFF over to the new house ahead of our family descending on us this Saturday to help us move the furniture. We’re lucky in that our new house is only two miles away, so we can fill up our cars in the morning and then drop off a few bags here, a few boxes there in the afternoons after work. It’s the only way to move, really (especially if you refuse to hire movers).

One slightly sobering fact that I’ve noticed these past few days: how little one really needs to live, and how much of our stuff just…sits there. We’ve already emptied our townhouse of a LOT of stuff, mostly little-used items from the basement, closets, decorative items, books. On Friday, we moved two boxes full of eight out of our 10 place settings, meaning we’ve been using two of of every dish for our meals this week (and running the dishwasher a lot).


Wrapping my hanging clothes in garbage bags! That’s a packing tip I actually executed!

But even then, we’ve been getting by just fine. Sure, our place looks a wreck, and things are a little more quiet with our radio packed away, and I can’t use our blender for a few days. But we’re doing fine and, to be frank, hardly noticing that some things are gone. OK, if these creature comforts were gone for a month, I’d be going out of my mind, but it’s amazing how much STUFF we accumulate in our lives, and how little we really need it. I’ve tried to purge and clean as much as I can during this process (I’m even getting rid of books, folks – BOOKS!), but I still feel like it’s not enough. J and I are drawn to a modern, very clean, and airy aesthetic, and I’m hoping that as we decorate our new place, we fill it with pieces WE love, cherish, and enjoy living with – not just STUFF we’ve had for ten years or more, that we’re too complacent to rid ourselves of.

April Favorites: Pins

It’s technically May, but it’s time for another round looking at my favorite pins from the previous month!

  • Chinese barbecue pork bunsWe’re making these for dinner tonight – hopefully they work out well because OMG they look so good. I already made the cha siu pork earlier this week and WOW was that a win. The dough on these don’t look too hard to whip up, so I’m very much excited for dinner tonight
  • This Ikea chairWe’ve pretty much have all our new living room furniture picked out, including this Strandmon chair from Ikea. We’re thinking of going bold and getting the bright orange one to match the muted shades of grey and green we’ll be using throughout the house.
  • All natural cleaning productsI’m always on the lookout for ways to whip up my own all natural cleaning products. I’ve been using a certain combination for an all-purpose cleaner for about six months now, and it’s worked fabulously. I love how much money you save, and how easy it is to make these products in your own kitchen.
  • This maxi dress:
    I think I could rock this this summer. If only it wasn’t nearly $70!?! AH.
  • Salted caramel brownie sandwich cookies:
    Say WHAT!? Pinterest is really good at making me fat.
  • Elemental olive oil and vinegar containersI love Modcloth stuff. I wish I had all the monies so I could buy all the cute and quirky stuff I find there. (Hint: these would make a great housewarming present. Just sayin’)
  • Repel mosquitoes with these plants: There’s some low areas of our new yard, and while we need to work at improving the drainage all over the property, our real estate agent cautioned us that standing water is a great hang out for mosquitoes, so planting some of these babies near the house could help cut down.

Why the radio silence? Well, I’ve got some big news…

So, it’s been awhile since I last wrote here, but J and I have been relatively busy these past few weeks because…



That’s right! A real house! With walls, and a floor, and a doorbell!

But even more than that, it’s truly the perfect house. For us. It’s everything we ever wanted in a first home, and (as I’ll explain later) the only real contender in our hearts. The house-hunting process is fickle; there was never any guarantee that we were going to get this house. But I believe some things happen for a reason, and everything just fell into place so perfectly with this house – it had to have been some kind of fate.

I’ll go into the whole process in later posts (it’s a long story!), but the fact that keeps hitting me at odd moments is that we own a house. Our very own house. This is our new home. OUR home. It’s where we’ll live for the next 10 years, probably start a family, adopt a puppy, plant a garden, paint the walls. Sure it’s just another possession, an “item” that we’ll be paying off for seemingly ever. However, there are so many complex emotions and memories attached to the houses where you live and spend time during your life, and so settling on one feels like a big deal. It’s like getting married. Sure, there’s always divorce. Sure, you could sell your house in a few years and move elsewhere. Sometimes, things don’t work out. But sometimes, you get that instinctive feeling in your gut that tells you this is the right one, let’s settle down here. You can’t ignore those voices.

Along those lines, buying a house also feels like a very real sign of getting old. Which I am (as we all are). I’ll be 28 this year, and suddenly, I feel very much like someone in my late 20’s. All I need is a baby on my hip to complete the picture (….though we’re not rushing into THAT anytime soon). I felt like my mom while talking to my younger brother about picking the right college yesterday; the years truly go by so fast. One moment, you’re young and it feels so overwhelming, freeing, and exciting. The next, you’re almost 30, you have a house, a husband, some cats, a job, and you’re like, “Wait, how am I supposed to feel anymore? Can I still be young? Is there something else?”

But mostly, buying a house is a huge relief. Though the process went fairly smoothly for us – something we owe to the great team helping us on the way – it was terribly stressful. I’m ready to not buy another house for, like, 10 years or so. Maybe longer. It is also time-consuming and emotionally exhausting, leaving me little time to think or do anything else. Right now, our townhouse is full of boxes, and totes, and bags, and even though I feel like the packing process is on schedule, I still feel like I’m simultaneously stalled and behind. Yesterday was our closing, and even though J and I were both off work, all we could do after signing the 10,000 papers was go out to a celebration lunch, come home, and then nap.

Anyway, we’re officially moving next Saturday and I’m SO READY to move and begin living in our new home. In the meanwhile, we still have so much to pack and organize. Luckily, the new house is only two miles south of where we’re living now, so we can run boxes over every day until next weekend. We also have to get the locks changed, buy a washer and dryer, continue to change our address…oy vey. I hope to be back to A Homebody in full force, though, given I now have PLENTY to talk about. The entire month of April was frustrating because I had plenty of home-related thoughts on my mind, but we weren’t talking about the house online until closing – so many thoughts stuck in my head! Now, they can all come out and I can’t wait to take you along this journey with us.

Right now

photo (8)


Do you ever have a moment during the week when you stumble across a Pinterest board with hundreds of pins you already love, but you’ve never seen? And you think to yourself: “I’m saving that for Friday night.”

That is my Friday night. Cheers.

How We Save: the magic of Aldi

Via The New York Times

Via The New York Times

When it comes to saving money every month, and hitting our ambitious household budget, not spending an arm and a leg at the grocery store every week is absolutely essential. Because we don’t eat out very often (or, limit ourselves to $100 a month between us in that department), we cook almost every night, and when we’re not, we’re eating leftovers…so glamorous!. That means we actually have to shop at the grocery store, for real food, used to make more real food.

For some reason, this can be a very expensive endeavor. Over the years, we’ve tried a lot of things to save money at the grocery store, and they’ve worked – to a point:

  • We rarely buy snack or junk foods, with the exception of some hardy pretzel sticks every now and then
  • We avoid processed food whenever possible
  • We buy the store brands for almost everything
  • We regulate our meat purchases, with the goal of buying only one kind of meat per week
  • We buy wholesale ingredients rather than the pre-made shortcuts (a big bucket of quick cooking oats instead of instant oatmeal, for example)
  • We limit our indulgences and guilty pleasures, and try to buy the most affordable option rather than the best (yeah, I’d love me some Starbucks brand caramel latte coffee, but I’ll stick with my Foldgers and store-brand coffee creamer)

We even avoid shopping at the better-for-you, organic, all-natural grocery stores, like Trader Joe’s or Whole  Foods. Oh, I know these places have better produce and products, and I know I’d feel better about myself shopping there. But oh no, I stick with Kroger to avoid the stupidly high prices on your fancy-schmancy avocados.

And yet, even though our fridge is stocked with fresh fruit and veggies, the only drinks we keep on hand are OJ and milk (and water, duh), and our pantry is full of simple ingredients that we use to construct our meals, the grocery bill is still a headache. Plus, it’s only the two of us – I can’t even imagine what it’s like shopping for kids (actually, don’t tell me because I’m not ready for that). It just doesn’t seem right to me that two healthy adults, who don’t snack, who cook their meals, who avoid expensive grocery stores, who have insane self-control – it doesn’t make sense why we can’t buy a week’s worth of groceries for $50 a week.

I have a feeling this is going to be a lifelong battle for me – the battle for the grocery budget. However, our most recent attempt to save money actually feels like it’s working, and I’m really excited about it. What’s the secret? One word: Aldi. Now, I’m not sure how other people feel about Aldi, their quality of food, their businesses, and whatnot. But ever since we started shopping at Aldi every week before hitting up Kroger, we’ve noticed some major savings and we’re very excited about it.

If you don’t have one in your area, Aldi is a German discount grocery chain known for its cost-saving efforts. The store stocks staple items – food and for the home – usually their own brands. The stores don’t have everything, and they may not have the same items week-to-week. Aldi doesn’t provide bags, or baggers – customers have to bring their own, or pay for extra in the check-out lane. Carts are dispensed for the price of a quarter; customers get their quarter back by returning their cart to the corral outside the store. Aldi does not accept credit cards, only cash and debit. There are usually only one or two employees working at a time, even on busy Sunday mornings (when we shop).

All this adds up to lower prices for customers, and it shows. For a few weeks, J and I compared the prices from our Aldi receipt to similar products at Kroger, and almost every time, Aldi won out. Sometimes Kroger’s sales prices were lower, but sometimes Aldi even beat the sales. But since J and I do not have the patience to coupon and stalk the sales every week, we know that going with an Aldi product is the best bet, every time.

Now, J and I hit up Aldi first during our Sunday morning grocery shopping trip, buying everything we can there. Then, we buy everything else at Kroger. What’s been most exciting are the savings: shopping at Kroger alone, our grocery bill would fluctuate between $60-$75 a week, sometimes getting as high as $80. Some of that would be spent on household items, but most of the time, it was food. Since we started going to Aldi first, the amount we spend on food at both stores is right around $50 a week, every week. That’s awesome, and it really helps us hit our $250-a-month grocery budget.

What about the quality of Aldi foods? Well, they’re not always a hit. There is some produce that I’ll always buy at Kroger – I had a very, very disappointing Aldi avocado a few weeks ago. And we like Kroger milk, and a special brand of Kroger bread. But we’ve found that most Aldi products are just as good as the Kroger brand we would have bought anyway – some are even better! Let’s face it: a cake mix is a cake mix, and a bag of dried pinto beans is the same everywhere you go.

On this subject:

The guilt of ‘not contributing’

I’ve been thinking about a post like this all weekend, but truth be told, I’ve been a little nervous about writing it. Nervous because it’s very personal, and yet it’s an issue I’ve been dealing with for the past month or two, and I think an important one.

What finally convinced me to get over my nerves was a post from one of the bloggers I regularly read, Jessie Knadler over at Rurally Screwed. In one of her latest posts, she talks about the future of her blog (I for one hope it doesn’t go away!), but also about the guilt of being a stay-at-home mom vs. being a working mom. Now, I’m not a mom, but this bit did touch a nerve:

I love being a stay-at-home mom for now even as I’m wracked with guilt for not producing. Isn’t that the way it goes? I feel guilty when making money because I’m not there for the girls.  I feel guilty when I’m not making money because I love to work (for money) and don’t feel like myself when I don’t have some kind of paycheck. See? You can’t win. Moral of the story, boys and girls: You can’t win.

It’s been about a month now since I left my old, full-time, salaried job at the bookstore. It was a good job, and I was able to gain some valuable management experience. It wasn’t a forever job, and it certainly wasn’t going to be my career – maybe it was the job to get me through grad school, but a job in the library world was always in my future. Then, I had to leave that job, and it wasn’t under the best of circumstances. Long story short, I really didn’t want to leave, but was given no choice.

While I don’t particularly miss the work (retail isn’t the most glamorous of industries), I do miss the paycheck. A lot. Now, J and I are fine financially. Plus, as J continually tells me, “I’m in school”, so it’s OK if I take a little time out from full-time work to focus on my studies. And I am. And I’m also really lucky to have found a great part-time job at one of the libraries on campus, where I’m gaining even more valuable experience, making important connections, and learning a lot.

But still, I really miss that paycheck. Especially now that we’re future home-buyers, and we have to pay triple attention to our bank accounts. Especially now that I’m forcing both of us to “be on a budget” – and not just a suggested budget, but a strict, real, budget-budget.

But I miss that paycheck because the simple fact is: I like working, and I like working for a paycheck. I like to “contribute”. I like to pay my own way. I like to provide for my family. I’ve never made a lot of money, neither when I was working for the bookstore or a reporter, but at least I made enough to contribute to our family income in a significant way.  And because both J and I had decent jobs and weren’t burdened by unreasonable credit card debt, we always felt financially free. Not rich or really “well off” by any standards, but we never had to worry.

And we don’t have to worry now, either, but still. Whatever income I have is just a tiny drop in the bucket – not the modest splash I’m used to – and it fills me with guilt. I feel guilty every time I remind J that, “Well, maybe you should think twice about going out to the bar with co-workers because, you know, budget.” I feel guilty every time I want a new pair of shoes or to have coffee, at a coffeehouse, with friends. I even feel guilty taking on the additional expense of a house even though we’re more than ready and gosh darn it, I want this more than anything.

But the guilt described by Knadler is still there. I think it’s tough for women to admit this guilt, just like it’s tough to admit that, as a woman, I like working for a paycheck. While I wouldn’t describe myself as, and I certainly don’t want to be, a workaholic, I do derive a real sense of identity and self-respect from working. Who am I? Well, I’m a reporter/bookseller/manager/librarian, and I believe in what I do, and I work hard at it. To be cut off from the working world, or just cut down to part-time, is difficult for me to admit is acceptable. And while I know it sounds goofy, and I don’t want to believe in it, if I’m being honest with myself, it is hard to feel like myself without that paycheck in the mail.

A big part of this is because I am, in one way, a workaholic – I always have to be doing something. Hence, this blog (and my other blog). Hence, my endless planning. The cleaning. The reading. I also have some big plans to help fill my time in the coming months: applications for internships and graduate assistantships, some academic writing, maybe some creative writing? I’ve considered getting another part-time job, and I do think I could make it work, but there’s a reason working two different jobs is difficult – two different bosses, managing two different schedules, lots of driving, even less free time than if you had one full-time job. I’ll do it, but if only if the right opportunity comes by.

Now, why is this a “woman’s issue”? I certainly don’t want to insinuate that it’s unusual for a woman to feel guilty when she doesn’t bring home the bacon. Quitting or being laid off from your job doesn’t have to be a “woman’s issue”, and the guilt associated with it affects men and women. But the fact of the matter is – and this is how it’s impacting me, personally – due to circumstances out of my control, I’ve been thrust into the part-time housewife position, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t mind spending the extra time I have at home cooking and cleaning – in fact, I enjoy it. One the key philosophies behind this blog is that there is no shame in enjoying these chores.

But I was forced into this situation, and I don’t like not having the ability to choose how I live my life. Similar to how I feel about a lot of women’s issues, choice is important. A woman can work 40+ hours a week, or she can be a stay-at-home mom, but she should have the right to choose. What I dislike is having that choice taken out of my hands. Now, I know that I didn’t leave my old job because I was a woman – I know there’s a difference, and like I said, losing your job isn’t a woman’s issue. But I still find myself in this position, and I’m not entirely comfortable with it yet.

Unfortunately, I can see this issue continuing to weigh heavily on my mind until, well, I graduate with my Master’s and find that full-time job as a librarian. Until then, I’ll continue to feel grateful that I married such a generous, loving person who insists, rather vehemently, that I do whatever is best for me and not feel guilty about it. Marriage, I’ve found, really is a partnership in this sense, and helps assuage just a little bit of that womanly guilt I feel. When I figure out how to get rid of the rest of it, I’ll let you know.

Songs for a rainy day

I’ve never considered myself a Type-A personality – though maybe I am – but I am definitely the type of person who always has a plan. I have dozens of to-do lists. I plan out my everyday schedule a week at a time, making sure I keep track of chores, meals, homework assignments, work schedule…everything.

But sometimes, you just to have to sit back and let life take the reigns. Sometimes, things are just hectic, and there’s no way to control your schedule or predict what will get done. We’re having one of those weeks, and now that it’s Friday afternoon, I’m definitely feeling the weight of accumulated stress and anxiety. Right now, we’re in a state of waiting. If not being productive annoys me, waiting is absolutely unbearable.

However, I find the best thing to do in these cases is to just take a deep breath, let it all go, and just listen to the rain. It’s been raining all day here in Michigan, making for a gloomy start to the weekend. But, if the rain helps those dirty piles of snow disappear quicker, then let that cool, cleansing rain come down.

Usually when I’m at home during the day, and actually during the evening as well, I like to listen to the local classical music stations, both out of Detroit and Canada (a perk of living so close to the Great White North!). But when it’s raining, sometimes you need something a little more chill. I prefer my Avett Brothers Pandora station during these times, which has plenty of relaxing, soft, rainy day tunes.

Clean House Project: Making a schedule – and sticking to it

So, it’s been about a year since I started this Clean House Project, and I apologize for the long wait for Part Two. However, I still feel that this is an important part of keeping a happy home – and given the number of “cleaning checklists” pinned on Pinterest, a subject that’s very much in demand. I’ve worked out a simple and easy routine for keeping my home clean and organized, and want to share what I do in the hopes that it helps others.

First, make sure you check out Part One of the Clean House Project:

And so, now that you’ve taken a hard look at your home and determined what actually needs cleaning and when, let’s move onto the next step:

Write out a schedule

So, you know that your bathroom needs to be cleaned every week. Maybe your living room needs to be vacuumed twice a week due to your horde of furry pets. You’ve written this all down, so let’s turn it into something that makes sense.

Sit down and take out another sheet of paper. I use a notepad with a magnet on the back, so I can stick this on my fridge. Then, write out the dates for upcoming weeks. I keep writing dates until I run out of room, so I usually end up with three months worth of weeks. You do can do this any way you want, but I will write out the dates for each week beginning Monday and ending the following Sunday: “March 30-April 6”.

Then, start scheduling what rooms you’ll be cleaning, and when. If you clean your bathroom every other week (like I do), write “Bathroom” on every other line. If you thoroughly clean your kitchen once a month, write it once, and then again four weeks later, and then again four weeks later…It’s not rocket science.

For me, it doesn’t matter what weeks which rooms are cleaned, unless, of course, we’re going out of town for a long period of time. If you only deep clean one or two rooms a week, you can clean when you have time. For some, that’s Saturday or Sunday. For others, it may be on their day off during the week.

Now, you have to be realistic. As I mentioned in the first post, you can’t expect to deep clean your ENTIRE house every week – especially if you have a full-time job, have kids, have a hobby, interact with friends…aka, have a life. Sure, some people have the time and willpower to clean a different room everyday; those are different kinds of cleaning schedules, and if that’s what you want, they’re out there. This is the kind of cleaning schedule for those with little time on their hands, a smaller place, and the willpower to keep things organized throughout the week so that you don’t NEED to deep clean the entire house every week.

That being said, I do not recommend scheduling more than two rooms per week. Two a week is usually what I do, and when, while scheduling, I end up with only one room that week, I’ll stick in a special project (more on that later). The idea is not to overburden yourself.

Now, once you have this schedule all written up, you can type it up so that it’s prettier, but above all, put it somewhere where you’ll see it on a regular basis and then FOLLOW IT. I use a planner to keep track of my grad school assignments, dinners, and workouts, and so I also write down what rooms need to be cleaned that week. Then, I’ll work cleaning into my weekly schedule, depending on what my week looks like.

However, this kind of cleaning routine is not going to work if you don’t follow it. You’ve already determined that your bathroom only needs to be cleaned every other week; if you don’t actually clean the bathroom when you’re supposed to (aka, every other week), then it’s going to be even dirtier when you do get to it. The hope of this kind of routine is that by strictly following a schedule, your rooms won’t be THAT dirty when you finally get to cleaning them. And if you maintain your highly-trafficked area on a regular basis (more on that later), they’ll be even cleaner.